I also want a COOL NAME man

Very hard trying to stop smoking for this past 3 days,now I only smoke 5 stick a day.As tonight I lazy lazy at home watching TV, my good friend Fei-Jai (Fatty boy) sms me go mamak for supper, I call him say:- ‘What la day day mamak last Saturday Mamak watch football ,today 8.30am Breakfast mamak, 10am mamak, 3pm mamak, 6pm mamak now mamak again! You think I got own mamak money-ar !. I hungry also, why don’t we go ‘SS2 Wai Sek Kai’ as long time no eat Hong Kong Pig Long Powder and ABC(air batu campur), I come now pick you up.

At 11pm SS2 Wai Sek Kai still many people eating, no wonder so many Private Hospital here and there open bcoz people sick here sick there as night night b4 sleep must eat or cannot sleep , supper like sleeping pills

When I was eating shiok shiok someone from behind Wallop my back until I puke Pig Long Powder out. I almost want to take a chair beside me and hit this buggar who hit my back than I hear a familiar voice, “WONG TAI SWEE where the Q you have gone and long time no see” This buggar is my primary school friend name TAN KEE KOK.
“Ding Lee Lo Fay I always here in PJ as you the one dunno disappeared where, wah!! now I see you c-smart-wor, some more you got a LengLui beside-u-wor”. I was really surprise he look so different as those days he day day only wear T-shirt ,dirty jeans and slippers but now he look like Hong Kong film star.

I again ask him “TAN KEE KOK you Fatt-Dat- Jor Ar ?....before I could continue ask him he interrupts me and pass me a name card, ‘CALVIN TAN’ and full time in direct selling business . “‘Call me CALVIN TAN and my friend name ‘ELLEMAY KHOO’ I can’t speak to you now as I got to take Ellemay back home,please call me and catch up old times.


Even Fei-Jai was impressed 2, asking who the Q is he?,why so L.C.L.Y?
Just now in my room do a quick check balance on myself. Thinking how come till now I still one stick ,could it be my look….but Fei-Jai once says I more handsome than him so could not be my look, …am I really Ah Beng?..may be I still not “IN” yet?. I should not use this name Wong Tat Swee maybe sound so Beng . I should find an English name for myself just like TAN KEE KOK with a cool name ‘CALVIN’.A name must have Gaya (Gaya mesti ada,Kalah tak apa).With a Gaya name not only can Kau Lui but also got class the English name on the business name card just like CALVIN TAN.


What name lei? JACKY Chan?, ANDY Lau?, STEPHEN Chow? Or BRAD Pitt, TOBEY Maguire, TOM Cruise…NO No No I must not copy Hong Kong/Hollywood favorite film star name later girls think I copy cat. Football star like DAVID Beckham, FRANK Lampard, THIERRY Henry , STEVEN Gerrard..e~~~No No No bcoz I not 12 years old dreaming play like David Beckham taking free kick but always shoot areoplane.So errr So what name lei?

How about this few name and as I think along-
*MICHAEL Wong- cannot la in Chinese say ‘Sell Chicken’
*SIMON Wong – so no la in Chinese ‘DIE also ASK’
*KENNY Wong- sound like Hokkian KAN NE
*ROGER WONG- later ppl call ROJAK
*ERIC Wong- no la sound like AH LEK.

Aiyo how come all name also cannot, is its finding a English name so hard mei??.
I got an idea !! Why don’t call myself DESMOND WONG. Desmond sound like Diamond as I want to become Diamond in my life .You see I day day now work hard just like day day polish a raw diamond that more you rub the more it shine. If I put this DESMOND name I can at least remind me I gonna become a Diamond one day.


Yuppi..I think I got a name for myself ,2moro ask my office fren and Fei-Jai see what they think. Goodnight and look for Uncle Chow and maybe her daughter also change a English name call “Ruby”…..KeKekeke...Diamond and Ruby better than Ah beng and Ah Lian

93~94